When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust…. Psalm 56:3-4
I was engaged to Joshua and in college when my Mother gave me this box. Inside the box was a pearl bracelet she bought me to wear at my wedding. I have no recollection what I was afraid of back then. I have no idea why God laid it on her heart to provide me with that verse and to write those words inside of the box.
But I do know today that I am thankful beyond words my mother wrote that verse and those words.
The past few weeks have had my mind in overload. We are nearing the end of our licensing process for foster/adoption. As we near the end my mind races on how things will be when we add two more children to our home. My mind worries about how we will all adjust, what will happen if/when the children go back to their birth families? And on and on the list of concerns/worries goes.
Then last week we found out about yet more paperwork that needed to be provided to our agency.
I have been reading and reading every night verses about God being in control and reminding myself that God has this and we are just walking along with Him. No need to worry.
But late last week I got upset. Real upset. I was upset my Mother is not here with me to help out. To give me not just a helping hand, but her words of wisdom. My Mother had a way with children that was unexplainable and I know the days are coming where I will long to be able to sit and talk to her, and hear what she has to say about raising these new children in our lives. The day I was most upset about it all one of my cousins let me know she had been thinking of me that day and praying for me. I told her I knew exactly why God had laid me on her mind and I explained my frustration at Mother not being here. I told her I knew God is who I need, but it is still hard. She also reminded me that while there is certainly no one to replace my Mother, I do have so many family members and friends who I know are there to lend a hand, ear, wisdom, or whatever else we will need. I thanked her for the reminder. She is right. I have my God, and I have others.
Yesterday afternoon I was looking for something in my dresser drawer and I saw this box. I knew Mother had written a verse on it, but I did not remember which one. I picked it up and read the verse and tears immediately began flowing down my face. God was again reminding me not to be afraid. I wondered why Mother would have written a verse, but not included where it was found. I then noticed she had actually written it on the side of the box and I went and looked the verse up in my Bible. I knew that bracelet was in the box so I opened it up to look at it. I had forgotten she wrote something on the inside.
As I slowly read her words, running my finger over her words, I could hear her sweet voice saying them to me. In that moment, I was reminded, yet again, God provides. While I could not look my Mother in the eye and see her give me these words of wisdom, I was able to look at her handwriting, and hear her words.
Again, I have no idea what was going on in my life over ten years ago when my Mother gave me that box. I do however, think the gift of that verse and her words were more for me today than they were for me back then. As I went to bed last night I told my Mother ‘thank you’. Thank you for listening to God that day and providing me with that verse and wonderful words of wisdom.
I prayed that I too would be as tentative as she was to God’s words to me as a Mother and to provide my children with His words for their lives.
God goes before you, is with you, is all around you.